We know it is God’s desire for us to keep our marital vows because God’s Word tells us He hates divorce (see Malachi 2:16 NLT). However, He does allow it in certain circumstances. Theologians debate them, but the discussion surrounds:
1) unfaithfulness, 2) abandonment, and 3) abuse. If your spouse is not guilty of any of the above things, pursue reconciliation instead of divorce.
If you want to follow God’s desire for your marriage, stop using the word “divorce” in your conversations and in your mind. Start praying for a change in heart. God understands your hurt. Open your mind and heart to the possibility that God can transform your marriage into the loving relationship you always dreamed of having for “with God all things are possible” (see Matthew 19:26).
The decision to reconcile a marriage should not be a decision to remain stagnant in an unhappy relationship. Take a moment to visualize the marriage you want to have with your spouse. (Yes, right now. Go on. Close your eyes.)
Now, what specifically was going on in your daydream that is not going on in real life? Whatever it is, it constitutes a discussion with your spouse. Make it clear that you are willing to change for the goal of a more loving relationship and announce your hopes that they will be up for the challenge as well.
Your marriage can become a dream come true with your own spouse if you communicate your needs and keep praying. Don’t give up on love! Be patient and hold your marriage in honor for God says in His Word that ”Marriage should be honored by all…” —Heb. 13:4
Think back to when you first met your spouse. Were you giddy with love? Think how your spouse has changed you for the better. Click here to read a short poem on “Romantic Love.”
Father, thank You that You know Your people so well. Thank You that it is Your desire to help them in their circumstance and not to abandon them in their time of need. We beg Your help to fill our hearts with love for our spouses and to enrich the love they have for us. In Christ’s Name, Amen.
© 2015 Kim Bond
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