If you have chosen to reconcile instead of divorce and decided to pray and work toward a happy marriage, then you are on a new path. It’s time to let go of the past. Stop replaying old memories and focus on the future. Picture yourselves as an old couple doing loving things for one another. Share this vision with your spouse.
There is a gap between the present and the future. Make it count! Take an interest in the things your spouse does even if you don’t have a natural interest in those things. Go with him to a baseball game. Sit down on the couch and watch the show she normally watches alone. Compromise for the sake of love. This solves the common complaint “We have nothing in common.”
When the opportunity to fight arises, focus on the tiny detail you do agree on. Admit you don’t agree but because you love him/her, you want them to have their way. You are establishing a new normal that sets an example of love that will be returned to you in time. Don’t be a doormat…but be ready yield sometimes. This solves the common complaint “We always fight.”
Compliments go a long way for women. Respect goes a long way for men. Be sure you lavish this currency in your marriage. This is a purposeful expression of love that is readily accepted.
This blog completes the series on avoiding divorce by choosing reconciliation. It presented many small practical ways to improve your relationship with your spouse. I implore you to try them no matter how complicated your marriage is. It is God who heals your marriage through your small efforts just like God healed Naaman through his simple efforts in 2 Kings.
Naaman wanted to be cured of his leprosy. Elisha advised him to wash 7 times in the Jordan. Naaman dismissed the idea because of its simplicity, but his servants convinced him to try it anyway. After following Elisha’s advice, his leprosy was healed. The Jordan didn’t heal Naaman; God healed Naaman through his simple efforts. (See 2 Kings 5: 1-14.)
A successful marriage is an imperfect marriage with lots of room for God to fill the crevices of our hearts. It is one in which two people are free to give and accept love from one another even in their brokenness. Let this song “Broken Together” by Casting Crowns speak to your heart about your marriage by clicking here.
Dear Lord, You promise that ”He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” in Proverbs 18:22. I pray You would open our eyes to the favor You have shown us and help us to behold the good thing we have found in our present marriages. Thank You that this promise and all Your promises are good and true for all time. In Christ’s Name, Amen.
© 2015 Kim Bond
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