Cleansing Stream

Many of my poems are about my addictions, anxiety, and other manifestations of emotional pain in my life. I recently finished going through the Cleansing Stream program, and it has helped me a lot. Cleansing Stream is a series of classes accompanied by prayer that helps people overcome emotional pain. I really recommend it. If interested, click this link to learn more: https://www.cleansingstream.org/

*Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing forever free ebooks.

Envision a Future Without Divorce

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If you have chosen to reconcile instead of divorce and decided to pray and work toward a happy marriage, then you are on a new path. It’s time to let go of the past. Stop replaying old memories and focus on the future. Picture yourselves as an old couple doing loving things for one another. Share this vision with your spouse.

There is a gap between the present and the future. Make it count! Take an interest in the things your spouse does even if you don’t have a natural interest in those things. Go with him to a baseball game. Sit down on the couch and watch the show she normally watches alone. Compromise for the sake of love. This solves the common complaint “We have nothing in common.”

When the opportunity to fight arises, focus on the tiny detail you do agree on. Admit you don’t agree but because you love him/her, you want them to have their way. You are establishing a new normal that sets an example of love that will be returned to you in time. Don’t be a doormat…but be ready yield sometimes. This solves the common complaint “We always fight.”

Compliments go a long way for women. Respect goes a long way for men. Be sure you lavish this currency in your marriage. This is a purposeful expression of love that is readily accepted.

This blog completes the series on avoiding divorce by choosing reconciliation. It presented many small practical ways to improve your relationship with your spouse. I implore you to try them no matter how complicated your marriage is. It is God who heals your marriage through your small efforts just like God healed Naaman through his simple efforts in 2 Kings.

Naaman wanted to be cured of his leprosy. Elisha advised him to wash 7 times in the Jordan. Naaman dismissed the idea because of its simplicity, but his servants convinced him to try it anyway. After following Elisha’s advice, his leprosy was healed. The Jordan didn’t heal Naaman; God healed Naaman through his simple efforts. (See 2 Kings 5: 1-14.)

A successful marriage is an imperfect marriage with lots of room for God to fill the crevices of our hearts. It is one in which two people are free to give and accept love from one another even in their brokenness. Let this song “Broken Together” by Casting Crowns speak to your heart about your marriage by clicking here.

Dear Lord, You promise that ”He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” in Proverbs 18:22. I pray You would open our eyes to the favor You have shown us and help us to behold the good thing we have found in our present marriages. Thank You that this promise and all Your promises are good and true for all time. In Christ’s Name, Amen.

© 2015 Kim Bond

Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing free resources. Click here to learn more about God and here to access free Christian ebooks. Thanks for visiting. Stay blessed!

Joy & Intimacy Without Divorce

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“I’m just not happy anymore.” This is a common complaint from a spouse who wants to divorce. If you are working and praying for reconciliation, stop looking to your spouse as a source of joy. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and should not find its source in your spouse.

In Acts 16, we read how Paul was beaten and jailed. In jail, he sang praises to God! How is that possible? Paul’s joy was not dependent on his circumstance but found in his relationship with Christ. Do you have a joy that comes from your relationship with Christ? Do you praise God at all times?

I hope that you will pursue the joy that comes from Christ by remaining in the true vine. Additionally, I hope that confidence and trust in Christ awakens an interest in new experiences that will contribute to your quality of life. 

Take up a new hobby, pursue your passion, play on a sports league, and work toward your dream with small goals. Be sure to invite your spouse to be a part of your experiences as your life transforms into a healthy expression of the joy that can be found in Christ.

Intimacy is another major complaint from those interested in divorce. Nothing is happening in the bedroom or you are stuck in a rut or your chemistry just dissolved. There is hope!

Read the following 18 ways to increase intimacy between you and your spouse:

  1. New self-control – If you are currently viewing pornography, you are KILLING your sex life. You’ll be amazed how intimacy improves when you STOP viewing pornography.
  2. New faithfulness – Cut strong ties between people of the opposite sex that you are attracted to. You can improve your intimacy with your spouse by removing emotional attachments to others.
  3. New thoughts – Concentrate on something new when you are alone with your spouse. Focus on your love for your spouse, envision blooming flowers, live in the moment.
  4. New initiation – The minutes that lead up to intimacy are important. Change your approach.
  5. New ways to energize – Intimacy requires energy. Rest up and help your spouse with tasks so he or she feels energetic also.
  6. New compliments – Instill confidence in your spouse and he/she will feel like a tiger instead of a mouse.
  7. New perfume or aftershave – Scent affects mood. Set the mood for intimacy.
  8. New clothes – Attract your spouse by wearing attractive clothes instead of wearing what is comfortable.
  9. New underclothes – Replace things with holes. Buy underclothes that are pleasing to the eye.
  10. New sheets – Get some soft sheets that announce your intentions to be intimate.
  11. New bed – Mentally break your rut by replacing the old squeaky bed.
  12. New place – Rent a hotel room for a getaway vacation in your own town.
  13. New hairdo or hair color – Make yourself feel new with a change.
  14. New makeup or facial hair – Try different things to see what you and your spouse agree enhances your features.
  15. New exercise routine – Exercise contributes to a happy mood, builds confidence, and increases stamina. Consider taking a multivitamin.
  16. New music – Set the mood for love with romantic music.
  17. New candles – Make your spouse feel special by going the extra mile.
  18. New date – Date your spouse with creativity.

You will be shocked at how effective these methods are at revving up your intimacy! A little effort makes a big impact when you pray for a strong relationship with your spouse and embrace love and faithfulness.

Dear Lord, I pray marriages on the brink of disaster would be renewed in a supernatural way. Heal our love and show us love never fails. Thank You for answering our prayers. In Christ’s Name, Amen.

Click here to read a poem that will encourage you in your reconciliation.

© 2015 Kim Bond

Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing free resources. Click here to learn more about God and here to access free Christian ebooks. Thanks for visiting. Stay blessed!

Reconcile Instead of Divorce

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We know it is God’s desire for us to keep our marital vows because God’s Word tells us He hates divorce (see Malachi 2:16 NLT). However, He does allow it in certain circumstances. Theologians debate them, but the discussion surrounds:
1) unfaithfulness, 2) abandonment, and 3) abuse. If your spouse is not guilty of any of the above things, pursue reconciliation instead of divorce.

If you want to follow God’s desire for your marriage, stop using the word “divorce” in your conversations and in your mind. Start praying for a change in heart. God understands your hurt. Open your mind and heart to the possibility that God can transform your marriage into the loving relationship you always dreamed of having for “with God all things are possible” (see Matthew 19:26).

The decision to reconcile a marriage should not be a decision to remain stagnant in an unhappy relationship. Take a moment to visualize the marriage you want to have with your spouse. (Yes, right now. Go on. Close your eyes.)

Now, what specifically was going on in your daydream that is not going on in real life? Whatever it is, it constitutes a discussion with your spouse. Make it clear that you are willing to change for the goal of a more loving relationship and announce your hopes that they will be up for the challenge as well.

Your marriage can become a dream come true with your own spouse if you communicate your needs and keep praying. Don’t give up on love! Be patient and hold your marriage in honor for God says in His Word that ”Marriage should be honored by all…” —Heb. 13:4

Think back to when you first met your spouse. Were you giddy with love? Think how your spouse has changed you for the better. Click here to read a short poem on “Romantic Love.”

Father, thank You that You know Your people so well. Thank You that it is Your desire to help them in their circumstance and not to abandon them in their time of need. We beg Your help to fill our hearts with love for our spouses and to enrich the love they have for us. In Christ’s Name, Amen. 

© 2015 Kim Bond

Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing free resources. Click here to learn more about God and here to access free Christian ebooks. Thanks for visiting. Stay blessed!