Building Fences (poem by me)

You, Believer, are a pure white vinyl fence,
Crowned with ornate posts secured in concrete,
Against sin, you have premium resistance,
Yet you are single and feel incomplete.

If you take an unbeliever as your spouse,
Your fence will be finished in wood with gaping holes,
Every kind of sin will rush into your house,
Your lover will delight in being exposed.

You will scream and rage about the ambush,
The sin that rushed in, and the pain it evoked,
Haven’t you read the warning in God’s book?
With unbelievers, do not be unequally yoked.

If you haven’t already made this mistake,
Prefer to spend your time among God’s people,
God will send you someone — please patiently wait,
Then you will be a superior fence with no equal.

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” —2Corinthians 6:14

It is right to spend some time showering God’s love on non-Christians, but our close relationships (tight friendships and love interests) should be with Christians who are equally devoted to God as we are. Which friends in your life should you spend more time with?

Death is Coming (poem by me)

Our days are numbered.
Nothing can stop death,
Not…

an ambulance,
a brick building,
a charmed chance,
a dome ceiling,
an escape pod,
a fixed fund,
a greenback wad,
a handgun,
an iPhone,
jewels or gems,
a kind grandmum,
likeable friends,
mating or marriage,
a notable musician,
overprotective parents,
powerful ammunition,
qualified doctors,
radical diets,
service helicopters,
trusted advice,
an unyielding cause,
a vaccination,
a watchdog,
xenogenication,
a youthful appearance,
or a zealous perseverance.

Do you know you need a Savior?
Don’t wait for more inspiration,
Now is the time of God’s favor,
Now is the day of salvation.

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” —Revelation 3:20

The Newlyweds (poem by me)

Her form was as dainty as porcelain,
Rose gold was the color of her dress,
She had cerulean eyes and ivory skin,
This lovely woman he yearned to caress.

Charcoal and smoke were the hues of his suit,
His hair was like a trimmed sable mane,
He smelled of cedar wood and citrus fruit,
She longed to make his body her terrain.

Glittering stars and glistening moonlight,
Conspired with all that is noble and true,
The man kissed his bride in the dark of night,
At their secluded rendezvous.

In God’s eyes, the two had become one,
Something that could never be undone.

*This poem is inspired by the beauty of marriage and the
belief that a husband and wife  can enjoy a playful romance.

Hide the Duct Tape (poem by me)

When we were first wed, my groom was hot,
He gave me things that could not be bought,
It wasn't until things got broke,
That I learned what his strengths were and were not.

I can fix stuff but I'm not that strong,
So my Honey-Do List was pretty long,
I was forced to admit in the end,
"Babe, it works but it's fixed completely wrong."

"You're smart and full of potential, Hank,
But fixing stuff with duct tape is so jank,
Buy a saw and a drill,
Go get some money from the bank."

Sixteen years later, I am proud to say,
Leaks and breaks don't keep him at bay,
He fixes things with skill,
And even trains our teen son named Trey. 

*Many of my poems are fiction, but this Rubaiyat poem truly captures
the amazing transformation of my wonderful husband. (Sadly, my cooking 
has not improved one bit since the day we married.)  

**Draw Near is now accepting poems for Blessed Creation:
A Christian Poetry Collection. Details here: Call for Submissions.

Love Can Last (poem by me)

A marriage
is an old covered bridge
two people embark on together

taking shelter with promises of forever
but darkness ensues and threatens their endeavor
will creaky planks give way and collapse?

in time the darkness will pass
love can last.

There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden.—Proverbs 30:18-19

©2016 Kim Bond

(There is still time.) The world needs prayer. Be a part of the solution. Details here https://drawneartochrist.com/call-for-submissions/

Treasure Love (prayer)

1 Tim 1 5

(If you are married or want to be married one day, please join me in prayer for your spouse.)

Lord,

Help us to always treasure our spouses (or future spouses),

And think of them fondly

With gratitude for the person

You created them to be.

Open our hearts to marvel at

The ways they reflect Your glory.

Help us, oh God, to stand by our vows

And to be the spouse You want us to be.

Renew our love every day,

And give us Your eyes to see

The beauty within one another.

Give them health to live out the plan

You have for their lives.

Help us to order our priorities

According to Your Word.

Inspire us to turn from sin

And to be good parents or mentors.

May we live in faithfulness

To each other and to You

And love one another

Unselfishly and sacrificially

As You love us.

In Christ’s Name, Amen.

*Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing free resources. Click here to learn more about God and here to access free Christian ebooks. Thanks for visiting. Stay blessed!

Sexual Myths Exposed

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I hear lots of myths circulating among single Christians. Are you a single Christian who has been deceived by sexual myths? Keep reading to learn the truth about three infamous myths.

MYTH #1) MY FUTURE SPOUSE WANTS ME TO BE EXPERIENCED IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. Christian men and women desire someone who is pure. Choosing to either watch pornography or have premarital sex muddles your heart, mind, and spirit. You are also distancing yourself from God when you engage in these sins. Plus, you run the risk of becoming addicted, contracting a disease, or getting pregnant. Your future spouse would prefer to discover this new activity together with you. If you are dating someone who wishes you were more experienced, I would question whether this person is really the right one for you.

MYTH #2) I NEED TO HAVE PREMARITAL SEX TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT I AM SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE WITH THE PERSON I AM PLANNING TO MARRY. Not only is this statement a myth, the concept of sexual compatibility is also a myth. Sex was designed to be an expression of your love for your spouse. Your major focus should be on bringing pleasure to the other person. Since people are unique, it requires time to learn the best way to give your spouse the most pleasurable experience. So good sex depends on knowing one another, and it also depends on the health of the relationship. If one person stops working to maintain the relationship, your sex life will could become less pleasurable even if it was fun at the beginning of the relationship.

MYTH#3) IF I HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ACTIVE IN THE PAST, I AM NO LONGER VALUABLE. The right person is going to love you no matter what. God has forgiven all of the sins in your life including any sexual sins you were engaged in. You can be completely honest with both God and your future spouse about your sexual history.

If you keep studying God’s Word and putting it into practice, you will be completely prepared for your future spouse. Don’t worry about a thing.

I hope you have enjoyed this Christian & Single blog series. I have not written from the high and mighty position of having done everything right. I have written from the humble view of having made mistakes and watching the Lord make everything work together for my good. God has great plans for you. I am praying for you to stumble onto that loving someone while clinging to the Lord.

© 2015 Kim Bond

Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing free resources. Click here to learn more about God and here to access free Christian ebooks. Thanks for visiting. Stay blessed!

Why Am I Still Single?

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Single Christians will often beat themselves up. They will ask, “What’s wrong with me, God? Am I unlovable?” The truth is that you are very lovable. There is nothing wrong with you! In fact, you are wonderful. However, you may be falling into a common trap.

As a fun way to communicate the traps, I created singles profiles along with a recommended verse, prayer, reflection, or practical advice. What type of single Christian are you? An unbelievers’s pal? One with skyscraper standards? A lonely angel? Or a waiter dater? Single Christians often fall into one of these profiles based on their personal choices and individual personality.

Profile: Unbeliever’s Pal -The Unbeliever’s Pal spends most of his/her time with unbelievers. This person is oodles of fun. He or she would probably be married to an unbeliever, but they know God wants them to marry another Christian. So they are suspended in singlehood…
Verse: 2 Cor. 6:14 states Can light have anything in common with darkness?
Recommended Reflections: Why do I choose to spend so much time with unbelievers? Am I double-minded or compromised in my actions or thoughts? Do I feel an obligation to save them or take care of them?
Prayer: Lord, please help me to limit the amount of time I spend with unbelievers. Send more Christians into my life. Fill my heart with a unique love for them. Amen.
Practical Advice: Attend more church and Christian events and home groups. Aggressively seek fellowship with them. Stop stooping to an unholy lifestyle for unbelievers. Instead, ask your unbelieving friends to stand upright with you.

Profile: Skyscraper Standards – Mr. or Miss Skyscraper Standards finds it difficult to find the right person. He or she is probably attractive and seems to have it all together. There is just something wrong with every person they date. So this person is perpetually single and searching…
Verse: Romans 9:21 states Or is not a potter authorized over the clay to make some formed things from it, one vessel for honor and one for dishonor?
Recommended Reflections: Do I love myself? Am I projecting my discontentedness with myself onto others? Can I focus on the good in myself and others?
Prayer: Lord, Give my Your loving eyes to see myself and others. Help me to remember You created us fearfully and wonderfully. Help me to focus on the characteristics you love in others. Amen.
Practical Advice: Take time to let go of your own imperfections. Be friendly to everyone and accept all date invitations. Give lots of chances. Accept 2nd and 3rd date invitations even if the first date did not go well. Focus on having a good time instead of finding someone.

Profile: Lonely Angel – The Lonely Angel spends most of their time either alone or hanging with Christians of the same gender. They have a great relationship with God, but they just aren’t really meeting anyone they feel connected to. They are caught in a routine of being single….
Verse: 2Samuel 6:14 Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the LORD with all his might…
Recommended Reflections: How determined am I to become married? Am I allowing the passion for life to exhibit itself? Is a job or something else draining time and resources that should be devoted to finding my future spouse?
Prayer: Lord, Help me to seek my future spouse with passion. Guide me to be available and obedient. Amen.
Practical Advice: Convince a few of your single same-gender friends to do something the opposite gender prefers to do. If you are a guy, hang out at the food court in the mall. If you are a girl, go to a baseball game. Challenge yourself to start a conversation with 3 strangers of the opposite gender by the end of the night. Give one of them your phone number. Rejections are meaningless. Keep going. Tell your friends to set you up on a blind date with one of their Christian friends.

Profile: Waiter Dater – The Waiter Dater is always in a long-term relationship. This person is skilled in the art of relationships, but the relationship they are in never results in marriage. So they are forever single because they are always waiting for a proposal or the right time to propose.
Verse: Gen. 2:1-2 states Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing…
Recommended Reflections: Am I in a healthy relationship or a state of dependency? What is the real reason this relationship has not resulted in marriage? Do I have the courage to commit if it is right? Do I have the courage to end it if I know it is not right?

Prayer: Lord, please give me the courage to do all You have called me to do. Help me to trust what I feel You are telling me to do. Thank You that You always guide with wisdom. In Christ’s Name, Amen.

Practical Advice: Guys, do not make excuses to delay a proposal. If she really is the one you want to marry, isn’t she more important than your next semester of college education? If the rest of the people in history waited until they were financially secure, imagine how many marriages and families never would have existed! Ladies, show yourself some respect and walk away from a relationship when you realize he is just not that into you. If he is into you, he won’t let you go.

I could write a few more, but it is likely that you see yourself in one or more of these profiles. It may be some combination of these descriptions. You may not fit neatly into any of the above profiles. Perhaps it would be better to create your own profile and make a strategy for resolving your stumbling blocks to marriage.

Remember God loves you. He hears your desperate pleas to find someone. He knows your longing to share love and start families. Are you willing to do what He is asking of you to make that happen? God is willing to help you especially when you make yourself available for your future spouse to enter your life. As faithful as he or she is, I doubt they are willing to walk up to your door and knock while you sit there on your computer and ask you on a date….or tell you to break up with that person you’ve been dating seven years…or well, you get it.

In the meantime, enjoy having the whole bed to yourself. If the loneliness gets to be too much, tell yourself, “I want to remember this loneliness so that when I marry the right person…I will have the good sense to stand by their side even when it gets tough.” God is always preparing you for your future and His kingdom. God bless!

© 2015 Kim Bond

Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing free resources. Click here to learn more about God and here to access free Christian ebooks. Thanks for visiting. Stay blessed!

Envision a Future Without Divorce

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If you have chosen to reconcile instead of divorce and decided to pray and work toward a happy marriage, then you are on a new path. It’s time to let go of the past. Stop replaying old memories and focus on the future. Picture yourselves as an old couple doing loving things for one another. Share this vision with your spouse.

There is a gap between the present and the future. Make it count! Take an interest in the things your spouse does even if you don’t have a natural interest in those things. Go with him to a baseball game. Sit down on the couch and watch the show she normally watches alone. Compromise for the sake of love. This solves the common complaint “We have nothing in common.”

When the opportunity to fight arises, focus on the tiny detail you do agree on. Admit you don’t agree but because you love him/her, you want them to have their way. You are establishing a new normal that sets an example of love that will be returned to you in time. Don’t be a doormat…but be ready yield sometimes. This solves the common complaint “We always fight.”

Compliments go a long way for women. Respect goes a long way for men. Be sure you lavish this currency in your marriage. This is a purposeful expression of love that is readily accepted.

This blog completes the series on avoiding divorce by choosing reconciliation. It presented many small practical ways to improve your relationship with your spouse. I implore you to try them no matter how complicated your marriage is. It is God who heals your marriage through your small efforts just like God healed Naaman through his simple efforts in 2 Kings.

Naaman wanted to be cured of his leprosy. Elisha advised him to wash 7 times in the Jordan. Naaman dismissed the idea because of its simplicity, but his servants convinced him to try it anyway. After following Elisha’s advice, his leprosy was healed. The Jordan didn’t heal Naaman; God healed Naaman through his simple efforts. (See 2 Kings 5: 1-14.)

A successful marriage is an imperfect marriage with lots of room for God to fill the crevices of our hearts. It is one in which two people are free to give and accept love from one another even in their brokenness. Let this song “Broken Together” by Casting Crowns speak to your heart about your marriage by clicking here.

Dear Lord, You promise that ”He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” in Proverbs 18:22. I pray You would open our eyes to the favor You have shown us and help us to behold the good thing we have found in our present marriages. Thank You that this promise and all Your promises are good and true for all time. In Christ’s Name, Amen.

© 2015 Kim Bond

Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing free resources. Click here to learn more about God and here to access free Christian ebooks. Thanks for visiting. Stay blessed!

Joy & Intimacy Without Divorce

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“I’m just not happy anymore.” This is a common complaint from a spouse who wants to divorce. If you are working and praying for reconciliation, stop looking to your spouse as a source of joy. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and should not find its source in your spouse.

In Acts 16, we read how Paul was beaten and jailed. In jail, he sang praises to God! How is that possible? Paul’s joy was not dependent on his circumstance but found in his relationship with Christ. Do you have a joy that comes from your relationship with Christ? Do you praise God at all times?

I hope that you will pursue the joy that comes from Christ by remaining in the true vine. Additionally, I hope that confidence and trust in Christ awakens an interest in new experiences that will contribute to your quality of life. 

Take up a new hobby, pursue your passion, play on a sports league, and work toward your dream with small goals. Be sure to invite your spouse to be a part of your experiences as your life transforms into a healthy expression of the joy that can be found in Christ.

Intimacy is another major complaint from those interested in divorce. Nothing is happening in the bedroom or you are stuck in a rut or your chemistry just dissolved. There is hope!

Read the following 18 ways to increase intimacy between you and your spouse:

  1. New self-control – If you are currently viewing pornography, you are KILLING your sex life. You’ll be amazed how intimacy improves when you STOP viewing pornography.
  2. New faithfulness – Cut strong ties between people of the opposite sex that you are attracted to. You can improve your intimacy with your spouse by removing emotional attachments to others.
  3. New thoughts – Concentrate on something new when you are alone with your spouse. Focus on your love for your spouse, envision blooming flowers, live in the moment.
  4. New initiation – The minutes that lead up to intimacy are important. Change your approach.
  5. New ways to energize – Intimacy requires energy. Rest up and help your spouse with tasks so he or she feels energetic also.
  6. New compliments – Instill confidence in your spouse and he/she will feel like a tiger instead of a mouse.
  7. New perfume or aftershave – Scent affects mood. Set the mood for intimacy.
  8. New clothes – Attract your spouse by wearing attractive clothes instead of wearing what is comfortable.
  9. New underclothes – Replace things with holes. Buy underclothes that are pleasing to the eye.
  10. New sheets – Get some soft sheets that announce your intentions to be intimate.
  11. New bed – Mentally break your rut by replacing the old squeaky bed.
  12. New place – Rent a hotel room for a getaway vacation in your own town.
  13. New hairdo or hair color – Make yourself feel new with a change.
  14. New makeup or facial hair – Try different things to see what you and your spouse agree enhances your features.
  15. New exercise routine – Exercise contributes to a happy mood, builds confidence, and increases stamina. Consider taking a multivitamin.
  16. New music – Set the mood for love with romantic music.
  17. New candles – Make your spouse feel special by going the extra mile.
  18. New date – Date your spouse with creativity.

You will be shocked at how effective these methods are at revving up your intimacy! A little effort makes a big impact when you pray for a strong relationship with your spouse and embrace love and faithfulness.

Dear Lord, I pray marriages on the brink of disaster would be renewed in a supernatural way. Heal our love and show us love never fails. Thank You for answering our prayers. In Christ’s Name, Amen.

Click here to read a poem that will encourage you in your reconciliation.

© 2015 Kim Bond

Draw Near exists to glorify God and help others draw near to Christ by providing free resources. Click here to learn more about God and here to access free Christian ebooks. Thanks for visiting. Stay blessed!